"I got these questions always running through my head. So many things that I would like to understand"

Almost fuckin' cried today. Tears forming in my eyes.


I'm sorry. It's not that don't trust you. I trust you with all my life. It's just my feelings are getting in the way. 101% percent and my heart on the line that I trust and love you. I just feel that if I don't share I'll end up suffering on the inside. When you're angry. I feel like a terrible person. But at the same time I'm really glad that when you're angry, It means you care. Thought through in my stupid head. I'm quitting. For sure. Nonetheless all the bad influences. I promise. All my friends reminded me of my bad habits. I tried to change them. But the foolish me had done it again. I feel really bad. And stupid. Me and my best friend, and arch enemy at the same time named "jealousy" messed me up BIG time. I really love you. 101%. Every time I create a mistake, I feel so selfish. I'm sorry but I wish we would talk about it soon.

What rights do I have to even complain right now.

School was fun and filled with laughter as usual. I don't want to get into what happened in the lessons.
But I was definitely feeling very very physically uncomfortable during Chemistry.

After school waited for Kristine for her Dental appointment. WHEN IS IT GONNA BE MY TURN!!

After that went Novena Square with Kristine, Hadi, Erni, , Esther and Alexa.

Today almost tio taiji at Novena Square/Velocity KFC. Aiya don't wanna elaborate on that. Go read my tweets.

http://twitter.com/Jaytelligence


After that we walked a few rounds around Velocity. Went to some other mall after.(Forgot the name!)

Walk walk talk talk.

After that took 167 sent Kristine home then met up with Hadi.

Went home together.


Does my feelings matter anymore? I hope so but I think not. I feel so galled and indignant that I can only do so much. My guts and ego stopped me from representin'.

Training was tough as stones as usual. Darren taught us the roundhouse kick "Killzone"

He taught us how to step in and pivot out of the roundhouse kick. Very cool!

It's actually just grabbing the kick and stepping in and throw your opponent off balance.

After that was endurance round.

30 secs - Jab Cross. 
30 secs - Machine Gun right leg roundhouse.
30 secs - Machine Gun left leg roundhouse. 


When I was doing the right leg roundhouse, remembered Darren saying Machine Gun and HARD.


So I did.

GO GO GO! I think that was what Darren shouted.

BAM BAM BAM BAM! Releasing all my anger and stress.

I remembered Darren said, "THAT'S IT MING JUN. THAT'S IT. GO GO!" 


Ajarn and Darren was behind me sort of giving me "motivation"

I really felt determined and a sudden adrenaline rush to keep me going.

After that, padwork again. It fuckin' killed me. 


OHHH!


Congrats to Ben. Got promoted to Muay Thai level 1!

I've done my loved ones wrong. I've done myself wrong. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.

Kanpua dulan.

FUCK YOU MANWHORE. 

Fuck half niggets.

HAIRCUT!

Went for a haircut today at MJ Toyko!

Highly recommended! 

But don't go there just for a cut. Pick the "Cut and Wash" option. 

Their shampooing skills are AMAZING. Head massage and shampooing. 

It's really worth the money! After the wash, there is a station to blow dry your hair. It's SELF SERVICE.

Gel and Hair cream are available. 

The head massage part is my favorite. All my stress and worries it's just gone like that. 

I'M NOT PAID TO SAY THIS LOL. 

My haircut end up looking like this! 

Quite okay lah I think (: 

(I don't know why I like to do that face haha!)

(See my previous video to see how my hair look like before the haircut :D)

After the haircut went to some ulu ulu place to have dinner. Had some Japanese food. 

Went Starbucks to have "dessert" after that. 

Not really dessert lah just caffeine! Espresso Frappucino! Headed home after. 

OH YA.

If you guys followed me on Twitter, You guys know I weigh around like 59.3 KG now!

I was 69 KG back in November last year! WOOHOO Happyboi96! 

But the weighing scale like buay zhun leh! Not sure lah around there I guess (:

School is starting tomorrow. KANPUA SIAN. 

Everything back to square 1. Sibei sibei sian.

SEE YA SCHOOLMATES/CLASSMATES TOMORROW. MISSED YOU GUYS! <3

I was bored. God Bless The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts. 

SCHOOL REOPENING! NOOOO.

Sorry if I sound horrible on video.

Don't worry about the MSN pop out noises. It's mine (:

Talked to my friend when I came home. Feeling like... nothing.

I really don't want to elaborate more anymore. 

Don't even know if I am me anymore. 

Or I'm just another paint dot. 

My mind is empty.

Tolerance at it's peak.

I was annoyed until late today. Come clean to your senses and speak some COMMON SENSE.

Not that I want to discriminate to the very lowest but, dude. You gave everyone the chance to discriminate you. 

You and WHAT army. Army of nutty creatures. 

Don't get me started on... never mind. 

I am getting really pissed and annoyed. 

Hey, How about a message you all you guys. 

MAN THE FUCK UP. Act like a little bitch and whine. 

Things you're good at. 

1)Whine.

2)Whine.

3)Whine.

4)Whine. 

5)Whine. 

Oh please. Pathetic little bitches. 

Crying and whining like a bitch without a "guardian angel" 

Let's see if Mr "Guardian Angel" can take good care of your ass for the rest of your fuckin' lives. 

This is getting on my nerves since LAST YEAR. 

OH AND BITCH THIS NOT GOD DAMN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. 

YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BITCH SHITS THAT AIN'T MAKING ANY FUCKING SENSE. 

That's for the great laugh. DA PUSS. 

Songs I listen to when I'm down.

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

[x]I fuckin' swear that I care but it's hard when you stare[x]
Into the bottom of a bottle that is empty and bare
Oh, my desolate soul in my desolate home
It's my desolate role, yeah I'm here all alone

[x]I can't think of a reason to get the fuck out of bed[x]
Curtains closed, lights are off, am I alive or dead?
I haven't shaved in a week, I always slur when I speak
[x]Tolerance at its peak, another fit just to sleep[x]

Oh, woe is me, woe is me, I guess I need love
Hoes you see, hoes you see I'm just in a rut
And I swear I'm tryin' baby, please baby don't leave
[x]Goddamn I'm a fuck up but I guess that's just me[x]

So I sit in my room and I'll cry in my bed
[x]Thinkin? about all the shit that made me wrong in my head[x]
I keep tryin' to climb but it seems so steep
Pour myself a fuckin' whisky and go back to sleep bitch

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

I watch my momma cry, she says baby why?
I say baby died, baby's gone like a suicide
I don't think you'll see him soon, mom stay out my room mom
Tell daddy that I hate that motherfucker like you mom

I sing this shit for you Danny, Sasha and Jordan
These beers keep getting warmer every time that I hold em'
I pour this out for you like a partner in crime
It's part of the times when you're sick in the mind

[x]Yeah, I'm sick oh so sick, I'm so sick of this shit[x]
Yeah, I'm lit oh so lit, I'm so fucked up off it
[x]So I stumble around til I stumble, fall down[x]
To this puddle of my tears layin' here on the ground

When you've got nothing left, you've got nothing left to lose
[x]With my last left single breath I'll still be singing to you[x]
So when you bury me man, you better bury me deep
And sing along to this song 'cause you're broken like me

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long, now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

And I wanna go back to the start, back where we started from
And I know it's been so long
I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong all along

And I wanna go back to the start, back where we started from
And I know it's been so long
I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong all along

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

Cause I don't wanna be like this
I've been runnin' these streets for too long now
I've got nothin' that's true but this song now
But the further I go I wanna go home

Please watch the above video and refer to the lyrics. 

Some of the lyrics with the "[x]", It represents I how feel when I'm done.

Thank you HU.

Happy Birthday Johnny 3 Tears!

Hey guys! Blogging again as usual. I'm down with a sore throat. It sucks.

It's Johnny 3 Tears birthday today! Happy birthday J3T! Your sick verses always gives me goosebumps.

     Check him out.

Here's a picture of him unmasked.  

Happy Birthday J3T! HU4L.

Okay let's get back to blogging. 

I totally lost my appetite yesterday. 

Didn't ate a crap load of shit. Well, not a lot I guess. Down with a sore throat. Going to meet Hadi like soon. Mom gave me money while I was still drowsy so I do not know what in the hell is going on. 

I really felt like blogging yesterday but the internet connection was being a bitch so.. 

Should I like upload my latest workout video or my favorite song(sort of)? 

Okay need to get back to business. Bye guys.

First post.

This is my first post. Okay. Why am I blogging? It doesn't have 140 typing limits like you do on Twitter.

Ya know, Can't really express how I usually feel. I'm not gonna care how my blog really looks like. It's the post that really matter, I guess.

I've been feeling kinda down. I'm out of drinks. I am alone at home. I want someone to talk to.

Sorry if I let some of you down.

I always think too much and a lot. Sometimes it crosses the line of negativity.
Therefore putting me in what I call,"Danger zone."

I get out of the "danger zone" fast. And I stay there. Out of it.

Okay I don't want to... ya know. Get too "emo" on my first post.

This is a late post. Goodnight!