Tuesday, 13 September 2011

I'm in a mess and I miss you.

This post is dedicated to my girlfriend.

Hey babe, I know you'll never forgive me this time. Not ever. Since you said, "Why should I?!?!" My life took a huge turn after you said that.

I've no idea how to apologize what happened on Saturday. A thousand sorries. It won't help, I know. I'm dying inside, knowing this is gonna end. Soon. I cried. I cried a lot.

I cried 9 times yesterday night. Cried till I suffered from a headache which lasted until now. These 3 months, you're the only one that can make me smile, just by saying hi.

I still remembered our first date out to town. Our first kiss outside Ngee Ann City.

After every date, I hoped to send you home to make sure you're safe. I would do ANYTHING and I mean anything to make sure you reach home safe and sound.

Missing the last train sometimes ain't nothing to me when you're safe at home and going to sleep with a smile on your face. I always reminded myself that your happiness is my number one priority. I failed to sort of "fulfill" that sometimes.

I'm definitely gonna miss traveling from places to places without you by my side. Taking the public transport without you resting on my shoulders. I'm tearing up as I write this post. Sorry if you think that I ever took you for granted.

I know you already gave me TWO chances. I'm a stupid, stupid guy. I'm a bad boyfriend. I don't even dare to ask for the third chance. But please, if you could. I will go down on my knees. Do whatever you want me to.

"I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave." - Perfect - Hedley.

This song means a lot. I cried every time I listen to this song alone. It never fails.

Saturday, Jalan Raya. I cried on the bus 853. I had to borrow Diyana's shades to cover up my red eyes. Reason I cried?

Upon seeing Noris and Diyana being so cute and lovely, my tears can't help but to roll down. In my mind I think, "How I wish we were like this."

It's all my fault now. This already happened twice I guess. I've been skipping meals cause I was too depressed to even eat. I would run to the toilet, turn on the shower, play some loud music and just cry. Hoping that no one outside would hear me in despair.

I was planning to bring you to USS on our anniversary. I'm dying day by day, Tupas.

Sorry that I've EVER hurt you in anyway. I just don't know how to express it.

I'm always a shy fella towards you dear. Always. I need to man up just to talk to you. I'm not even kidding.

When I'm sad, no one can cheer me up but you. Now, I don't even know if you would text me ever again.

Remember what happened on Inez birthday? We were so close. I really missed that. I could remember each and every memory together with you.

With that being said, I love you, Kristine Tupas Querubin. How could I ever deny this. I'm deeply sorry.

My actions brought me huge regrets. - MJ. As you would call me, "Jay".

"They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now." - Chevalier des Fleurs